What did Jesus say about divorce?

When is Divorce Permissible? A Biblical Perspective

Divorce is one of the most sensitive and controversial topics in both faith communities and broader society. For many, it carries a stigma or deep uncertainty about what is “right” in God’s eyes. This week on the Destiny Awaits podcast, Michael and I dove deep into Jesus’ teachings on divorce as found in the Sermon on the Mount and other scriptural references, exploring what they mean in their historical and cultural context and how they apply to us today.

What Did Jesus Say About Divorce?

In Matthew 5:31-32, Jesus addresses the issue of divorce, making a strong statement that many interpret as limiting the grounds for divorce to adultery. His words were both corrective and extreme, aimed at addressing the misuse of divorce during that time. As we discussed on the podcast, some men in that era were divorcing their wives for trivial reasons—burned soup, as one historical interpretation suggests—while using legal loopholes to appear righteous.

Jesus, however, goes to the heart of the matter: covenant loyalty. He draws from the Old Testament, specifically Deuteronomy 24 and Genesis 2, to reaffirm the sanctity of marriage as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman. But His message in Matthew 5 was also a direct response to a culture that devalued women and treated marriage as disposable. By emphasizing the seriousness of divorce, Jesus called for a higher standard of commitment and mutual respect.

Understanding Context and Covenant

To fully grasp what Jesus was teaching, we explored the historical and cultural context of marriage and divorce in His time. Marriage was not just a union of two people but a reflection of God's covenant with His people. Breaking that covenant through divorce was seen as a serious matter, not just for the individuals involved but as an affront to the divine design of relationship.

However, Jesus also acknowledges the "hardness of hearts" that led Moses to permit divorce under certain conditions (Matthew 19:8). This highlights that while God's ideal is lifelong covenantal love, He also provides concessions for human brokenness.

Beyond Adultery: Other Grounds for Divorce?

The Bible, while primarily highlighting adultery as grounds for divorce, does leave room for further discussion. For example, in 1 Corinthians 7:15, Paul speaks of abandonment as a legitimate reason for a believer to let go of a marriage when an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave. In today’s context, many theologians and pastors argue that abuse—whether physical, emotional, or spiritual—constitutes a form of abandonment, as it violates the covenant of love, respect, and mutual care that marriage is intended to uphold.

In the podcast, I shared my personal experience of coming to terms with divorce in light of these scriptural truths. For years, I believed that leaving an abusive relationship would make me a failure in God’s eyes. It wasn’t until I sought God in prayer and counsel that I realized how deeply abuse undermines the very heart of marriage as a reflection of God's love. Abuse, like adultery, is a violation of covenant and can be grounds for separation.

God’s Heart and Grace in Divorce

One thing is clear from scripture: God hates divorce, not because He wants us to remain in harmful situations, but because of the pain it causes. His heart is always for reconciliation, healing, and wholeness. But when reconciliation is not possible—whether due to adultery, abandonment, or abuse—God’s grace provides a way forward.

For More Insight

We understand that these topics are complex, deeply personal, and often laden with guilt or misunderstanding. That’s why we dedicated this podcast episode to unpacking the scriptures, historical context, and practical applications surrounding divorce. We encourage you to listen to the full episode for a more detailed breakdown of the biblical texts and how they relate to the realities of marriage and divorce today.

At the heart of it all, remember this: God’s desire is not for you to live in bondage to shame, guilt, or harm. His love and grace are sufficient for every circumstance, including the difficult decision to divorce.

Listen to the full episode here for a deeper dive into these powerful truths.